


Sweet Summer Scenes

by Aeris_Blue



Series: Seasons of Grillster [8]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Amnesia, Arachnophobia, Facing Fears, Flirting, M/M, Memories, Mentions of War, Vacation, immoral decisions, past trauma, talk of proposing, talking through past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25789000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeris_Blue/pseuds/Aeris_Blue
Summary: Grillby and Gaster decide to take a vacation as a couple but instead of a romantic venue they choose to see what has happened to their shared past.
Relationships: Grillster - Relationship, W. D. Gaster & Grillby
Series: Seasons of Grillster [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1251605
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	Sweet Summer Scenes

**Author's Note:**

> Well summer is almost over about time I got to this right ^^’ sorry for the delay this one was tricky to write and I just don’t have as much time to dedicate to it as I used to. That being said this will be the only summer update.

Grillby shifted to avoid the human talking loudly beside him. The whole crowd was a group of humans filtering into a smaller single file line to get through the small ticket hut before moving to the actual attraction. Gaster slipped his fingers between Grillby’s and he relaxed at the cool touch. He squeezed lightly and Grillby squeezed back, this was fine. It was only for a few minutes. Not that things were really going to get much better after the booth. His eyes traced the tall crumbling castle walls and he swallowed hard as he remembered what it had once been.

Most couples probably didn’t traipse around their shared past for their first vacation together but it seemed fitting for them. So much of his own past past hidden behind a shroud Gaster had unknowingly created and maybe placing himself right at the start of it all would be just what he needed to pull down the curtain. It was still rather intimidating though. The last time he’d been around here hadn’t exactly been a pleasant experience. Gaster was here-- at least physically he was his mind had been somewhere else since far before the hotel.

Was it some complex question that could be used to define the universe? A formula full of more numbers and letters than Grillby knew existed? No one knew but Gaster. If Grillby minded at all they wouldn’t have come as far as they had. Besides he knew once they actually got away from the crowd he’d come back down to this plane of existence again. Grillby rubbed his shoulder against Gaster’s catching the monster off guard. Gaster smiled widely at him, his eyelight glowing bright before he bumped his forehead against Grillby’s.

They paid for their tickets and were finally free of the stiff crowd. Grillby stretched his arms high above him but didn’t lose Gaster’s grip making him stretch as well. The pair wandered down the worn dirt path lined with large round stones that Grillby was fairly certain hadn’t originally been there. It stretched straight into the dilapidated entrance. Gone were the grand tridents supporting the delta rune across an intricate arch now it was just a memory the hilts of the tridents were barely recognizable.

Gaster nudged him playfully, ‘I like to think we’re in better shape than that.’

“We’re also a lot younger than the Capital City,” Grillby reminded him, to which Gaster signed: ‘Just a little bit.’ 

When Gaster made these plans to visit a few places important to their past he figured the monster was eventually going to get in trouble for going off the beaten path but almost immediately Gaster turned to walk along the wall instead of through the entrance. A thin tuft of smoke rolled from his mouth as he looked nervously to the guards around the entrance. They didn’t seem perturbed by the deviation so Grillby stepped quickly after Gaster.

Gaster’s boney fingertips grazed the stone so lightly not a single grain of stone was disturbed. That focused look in his sockets returned as he picked up his pace definitely looking for something specific. Grillby stumbled along after his wide strides searching his own memories for why the outer wall was important. 

Toriel had been ambushed around here and it had been rather frightening seeing a powerful pillar of kindness wounded as much as she had been. As his eyes fell to the holes in Gaster’s palms watching the stonework pass through them he couldn’t remember anything.

Gaster froze unexpectedly and Grillby nearly stumbled over him as the skeleton squatted down just a little bit. There were two distinct divots in the wall, age had filled them in but they were still strangely out of place in the center of the stones. Something about them gave Grillby a heat flash as an unidentifiable sensation swirled around his shoulders. This was something, something important, he should know what those dents were for but nothing came to him.

Every bone in Gaster’s hands shook as he settled them against the stone. Grillby knelt beside him suddenly connecting the round divots in the stone to the ones in Gaster’s hands. This was where the humans had pinned him up wasn’t it? Mounted him on the wall like some sort of sick sport with a message in his pocket. Maybe it was for the best that Grillby didn’t really remember this; it would probably make him sick. As it was those divots were awful close together for how long Gaster’s arms were and strangely close to the ground. Gaster had explained the holes in his hands before but he’d always described himself as dangling off the ground...

“You were a child,” Grillby whispered, surprised he hadn’t ever connected that together before. They were children during the war, he knew that much, but… They hung a child up like some sort of a scarecrow. A child. A tiny feisty little child. 

Gaster nodded in response before he finally pulled his hands away. ‘In my nightmares I’m almost at the very top. I can almost see everything but… I wasn’t even halfway up.’

“You’d think that would make you lose your love of heights,” Grillby smiled. The monster was attracted to places high above the world: trees, tall hills, the top of the mountain they had been buried under, anything to give him a vantage point above the rest of the world. Or maybe he just enjoyed how much calmer the world seemed from so far away that’s what Grillby was learning to enjoy about them anyways. 

‘I’m a bit too stubborn for my own good,’ he gestured to the wall, ‘that’s what got me there in the first place.’

“Why did you go fight the mages on your own?” Grillby helped Gaster stand up before raising himself up.

Gaster thought about that for a moment as they worked around the wall and back to the entrance. ‘Because I ran.’ Grillby narrowed his brows and Gaster sighed: ‘I was going to join the military with you. I thought it was what adults did but I panicked and ran off. Toriel found me and offered an apprenticeship with the Royal Alchemist which I was much more accepting of. Until things went south and my teacher’s experiments grew too grotesque to accept, so I ran. Told Asgore about them instead of doing anything myself.’

Grillby rubbed his back and Gaster melted against his side, ‘Then Ashfall happened and I couldn’t do anything to help you when you were hurt so badly.’ Ashfall was next on their vacation of opening old wounds and Grillby was not looking forward to it in the least. He’d fought for so long to put that genocide behind him and now he was going to face it head on for the first time. At least, Gaster was here with him for that. ‘I was there when Asgore’s father was killed by that group of mages. I could have helped, I could have fought… But…’

“You ran?”

He nodded miserably against him, ‘So when I heard the scouts had found the Mages that killed him… When I finally realized just what this war had done to Asgore, to Toriel, to you! I felt like I’d done nothing but run. So. I fought them. I lost. They pinned me up to that wall and that was my last contribution to the war efforts.’

‘When we got to the Underground I kept my hands wrapped, I didn’t like the reminder, thought, eventually I moved on to gloves,’ he laughed and to Grillby’s surprise it was genuine. ‘Then someone always had some reason I shouldn’t wear them. ‘It’s hard to read your Hands with leather gloves on’, ‘I miss seeing your fingers’, ‘Oh hey what does this feel like?’’ 

“I don’t know who that would be,” Grillby smirked even though he didn’t remember any of that, sounded right though. He loved Gaster’s long thin fingers, he loved watching them work, or drum across a surface, turn a page in a book, and sign with an enthusiastic vigor. Yeah, he might not remember saying those things but he certainly shared the sentiment: he’d hate to see those dexterous hands hidden away.

Gaster shook his head with a wide smile, ‘Yeah I’m sure you wouldn’t know him.’ He looked down at the holes in his hands, ‘But he helped me learn to accept these scars and with it I was able to move on.’ His eyelight pointed to Grillby, ‘I still worry I’m nothing more than a coward… but I’m getting braver.’

“You are,” Grillby kissed his cheekbone and Gaster did his best not to shy away as they approached the path intended to be traveled on. “You’re the strongest monster I know Bun and I’m proud of you.”

A spring purple blossomed over his cheekbones as he signed an awkward thank you. Grillby resisted the urge to kiss him again.

After that the pair walked around the once glorious city that was now little more than a glorified collection of stone. A few shops had been restored to their previous state where workers made old fashioned crafts inside. They stayed in a pottery shop for a long time watching the master work clay into fantastic shapes. The way the water from the sponge pooled down the side of the vase they were making was oddly hypnotic dripping onto the ground in brown water. A couple paid the master to work at some clay on their own and Grillby knew Gaster would love to do the same but it wasn’t quite in Grillby’s ability. They thanked the master as they left before continuing along the ruined city.

A staircase that went nowhere was apparently worth a few pictures before Gaster asked Grillby to stand on them. It was roped off about halfway up but Grillby stood as he was directed, his head pointed towards the sun, one foot a step above the other with a slight lean in the knee. He felt pretty ridiculous posing but when Gaster showed him the picture of his flames against the stark shadows of the ruined towers contrasted against the bright blue cloudless sky he had to admit it was a good picture. “Alright my turn,” Grillby smirked, taking Gaster’s phone.

‘Oh?’

“I want you to…” It took a few tries to find something he liked and he felt terrible for making Gaster turn in so many different ways only to be unsatisfied. He just didn’t have an artistic eye but finally he settled on having Gaster sit with one leg down the steps and another curled to his chest, an arm draped over his knee with the other resting beside him. “Now glow…” He tilted his head back and forth for a moment, “Yellow.”

Yellow had once been a natural color for Gaster but since crawling out of the Void his sense of justice had shifted so much that it took a moment for his eye to shift. Once he did though Grillby took the picture and stared at it without enthusiasm for a moment before turning it to face Gaster. He laughed, ‘I look like a villain.’

“Ah, ummm,” Grillby’s cheeks flushed a hot yellow, “I guess you do.” The shadows in the background framed his form a little too well making it look like the darkness was trying to swallow him. A thought Grillby regretted immediately. “Alright so I’m not a photographer,” he admitted. He pulled up the delete option and Gaster stole his phone back.

‘No, I do like it!’ He stated defensively, ‘The yellow eye was a good choice; they stand out against the background.’

“Like a sun… in the morning…” Grillby covered his face with his hands, he had tried he really had.

Gaster blinked, ‘Oh. When you say it like that I see it!’ He smiled wide as he pocketed the phone, ‘You should take more pictures.’

“I think I’ll leave the photography to you,” Grillby rubbed the back of his head before they continued along the roads. They found a few more shops dedicated to old trades: wool spinning, glass blowing, and blacksmithery.

Grillby eyed a pretty silver ring in the blacksmith’s shop. It was so dainty compared to the gaudy swords and weaponry that Gaster was currently ogling over. The metal had been folded in such a way that it looked like ripples on a pond across the shiny steel. He’d been looking at rings a lot lately but finding one that fit Gaster’s fingers was more difficult than he’d anticipated. As pretty as this one was when he held it up he realized it wouldn’t fit either. While Gaster felt the weight of a few kitchen knives Grillby looked through a collection of stamped metal tags with cliche statements on them.

He picked up a tag from the ‘date goes here’ section where they would stamp the year on if you bought it that said ‘Married.’ Grillby looked over his shoulder to Gaster who was smiling a bit too much at a butcher’s knife. Grillby was ready, or at least he thought he was, he knew he wanted to at least but he’d know that for a long time. It was just… finding the time, and something to propose with.

It was a month ago that he’d asked Gaster’s sons for their blessing which they were more than happy to give-- after pestering him for a good ten minutes or so. One of them texted him everyday, asking when he was going to do it, if he needed help looking for anything, if they needed to babysit their dad for a while to prepare, and he appreciated their enthusiasm. It kept him excited but he just… wasn’t finding anything to propose with. It wasn’t necessary but he wanted to give Gaster something that he could charge with his own magic for the monster to wear and think of him.

Gaster had opted out of in person classes this last semester but Grillby had sat down with him and together they picked out one for the coming fall. So the timing seemed right to find something to embed his magic in as a warm reminder that even if he wasn’t there he was with him. He knew Gaster could do it without a doubt in his mind but he understood his uncertainty… He was feeling quite a bit of it right now actually.

“Are you a newlywed then?” The Blacksmith’s assistant, a young boy with bright red hair decorated with freckles made of soot, asked.

“Oh no-- I was just, looking--” he dropped the plate and saw Gaster snicker at him with a warm smile that made Grillby’s soul puddle in his chest. “You guys do good work here, this is all very authentic.”

That caught the Blacksmith’s attention, “How can you tell?”

“I uh,” oh stars everyone was looking at him now, “spent a lot of time in chainmail and swinging swords…”

“Some sort of a recreationist?” The assistant suggested.

“No the… the real thing. Actual um, fights, and,” his voice stole away from him leaving a  
series of half cracks to fizz in their place. He was not ready to tell strangers about his past murdering their kind but their faces weren’t judging him, at least not harshly.

The Blacksmith grabbed a sword off the wall and passed it to Grillby, “What do you think of this?”

Grillby’s hand shook as he felt the far too familiar leather grip in his hand. It was a beautiful silver blade with a good leather wrapped over the handle, and the hilt had a beautiful red stone in it. The sword was beautiful but something felt off. He swallowed stepping back from everyone just a bit to take one good swing. “It’s off balance,” he stated softly, “it’s lovely though--” He quickly corrected.

“See boy? What did I tell you?” The Blacksmith laughed.

“It’s fine,” the assistant folded his arms and stuck his chin up, “no one is going to use it to fight.”

“Where’s your love of the craft? Every detail counts!”

“I do love the craft! I just get tired of making plain looking swords all the time.”

“What? Plain looking!?”

Oh stars he started an argument. Gaster stepped beside him sensing his discomfort and taking the sword from him. He pointed it out only holding it still for a brief moment before his arm began to shake from the effort, ‘Still too small,’ he signed sadly after returning the sword to the assistant.

“I can’t say I like the idea of you wielding a sword in the first place.”

‘No,’ he shook his head, ‘I can’t say it fits me… but a childish part of me will always think swords are cool.’

Grillby blinked looking over to the much tinier swords hanging by leather bands. They were all a cool gray color with different patterns on them, some with dragons, others with celtic knots, all of their hilts had a tiny stone embedded in them. Would something like that work? Gaster did call him his knight from time to time and a necklace he could hold close to his soul but Gaster was looking at them now. There wasn’t a way to buy it discreetly. He’d really been wanting something with a rabbit on it or maybe a little moon? 

Nothing really fit Gaster even as his eyelight glowed excitedly over the tiny swords. ‘Do you want one?’ Grillby signed as the Blacksmith and his Assistant continued to bicker.

‘They are beautiful but I don’t need one,’ his eye fell to the collection of soon-to-be-dated tags Grillby had been looking at briefly before facing him directly. ‘Anything you want?’

‘Nah,’ he looked at the eerily familiar broadsword mounted on the wall. Just looking at it put a feeling across his palms as if it was just yesterday he carried one. ‘I outgrew swords a long time ago.’

‘What, are you calling me childish?’ Gaster teased.

“Maybe,” Grillby smirked.

The two thanked the Blacksmith and his Assistant who waved jovially back. It was obvious their argument had been in good spirits but Grillby really didn’t like it when humans argued. 

Almost as soon as Grillby looked away from the shop he noticed Gaster dart under a set of ropes, “What are you doing?”

‘Come on,’ he stated simply and Grillby flickered nervously checking his surroundings before following him. This path had lots of old bridges crossing overhead, it was nothing but shadows between tall half towers and Grillby remembered they were close to the castle. It was nothing but rubble now, they could see that from a distance, but Gaster turned before they could enter what would have been the side entrance to study a nearby rock structure.

“What are you--” Grillby sparked bright yellow as Gaster began to move the smaller stones out of the way. “No,” he pulled Gaster away before he could attempt to move anything bigger.

‘I wanna see if there’s any clues as to what happened to the abominations my teacher made,’ he stated plainly as if that clarified anything. Gaster sighed, ‘My master-- teacher,’ he corrected, ‘was trying to make unkillable monsters made of the collapsing souls of soldiers using human determination.’

Why did that sound familiar? Determination, unkillable, Grillby’s eyes widened, “Your teacher made amalgamates?” 

‘He certainly tried, they were more unstable than the ones Alphys made though. I just… wanted to know what happened to those poor things.’ He rubbed his arm awkwardly and Grillby debated on where his morals lied for a short amount of time before he grabbed a large stone. He pulled back hard and Gaster let out a cheer as he moved it back a ways.

Unfortunately, the current inhabitants of the tunnel didn’t appreciate the sudden exposure. A swarm of black fuzzy things came pooling out from the tunnels and it wasn’t until Grillby heard the sound of a blaster being summoned that he recognized them to be spiders. Gaster’s eyelight was smaller than a grain of sand as he aimed but Grillby stepped in front of the giant draconic skull that in turn glared down at him. “We disturbed their home,” Grillby stated calmly and it was enough to make Gaster rattle but not to let go of the blaster.

He stepped in front of Gaster to block his view of the swarm then wrapped his arms around him burning warm. The swarm moved far away from his heat most of which scurried back underground. Funny, he’d had a similar reaction when he moved up to the Surface for the first time. Gaster wrapped his arms around to the back of his jacket holding the fabric tight as his bones rattled.

“Just a little longer Bun,” he assured him. The blaster dispersed and Gaster loosened his grip burying his face in Grillby’s shoulder. Gaster said something that sounded like gears attempting to drown out a ticking clock and Grillby rubbed his back. “It’s not a silly fear, you’re fine, that many of them made my flames twist, you’re going to be okay.”

There wasn’t a lot Gaster had told him about his teacher just that he was not a very good monster, he performed indecent experiments, and that he was a spider monster with lots of little spiders at his command. It was the teacher's cruelty that had instilled this fear and Grillby didn’t really want to know how well earned it was.

They stayed there a while clutching tightly to each other, “Do you still want to know--” Grillby didn’t need to read WingDings to know a no when he heard one. 

So the pair moved on walking back up to the intended path to stand before the rubble of the castle. A few bases to towers existed, some areas seemed like they might have been the start to some steps, but overall there really was nothing to see. The two stood in a silent reverie for the old kingdom of monsters before they left the way they came in.

Grillby’s least favorite part of the war was next, “Do you want to drive over there or--”

‘Can we walk?’ Gaster interrupted then bowed his head shyly, ‘I uh, don’t wanna be in a tight space after the uh-- bugs…’

“You know that’s alright by me,” Grillby smiled scooping Gaster’s arm up into his.

It was a long walk but the pair didn’t mind at all making simple chatter as they walked along. Grillby was surprised there wasn’t a well worn path between the two sights but surely there was a road most people took to avoid the walk. ‘You’re nervous,’ Gaster told him flatly and he looked away.

“Yeah,” he puffed out a stream of smoke that had been rolling in his mouth.

‘We don’t have to go,’ his Hands were genuine but he shook his head.

“I think I need this closure.”

‘Alright,’ Gaster nodded, ‘but if you change your mind at any point we will leave.’

“Sounds good,” he rubbed his forehead against the side of Gaster’s face. He was counting on Gaster to give him the strength he needed or to support him if Grillby had no strength to give. Ashfall had left a scar across him but he was fortunate not to have a physical reminder of it. He eyed the cracks in Gaster’s skull and the holes in his hands with a quiet uncertainty.

He wished he’d remembered what it felt like to see his dear friend pinned to the wall, watching him fight desperately to stay alive, or even just to remember what Gaster had been like afterwards. Child Gaster seemed so different than the monster beside him now. More desperate, uncertain, but that was to be expected if a child was forced to pretend they were an adult. He looked through the hole in Gaster’s free swinging hand for a moment and sighed, Gaster was going to be there for him but he wasn’t really able to support Gaster the same way.

Had he said everything he needed to at the wall? Did he get closure for that point of his life or was Grillby supposed to have said something? He hated this. Why couldn’t he just remember something? So many questions that he had no understanding of even how to find the answers except to ask Gaster. And Gaster was more than willing to tell him about anything he asked about but he didn’t even know what to ask about.

“Bun…” His voice was a puff of air in the gentle wind.

‘We’re here,’ Gaster unlooped his arm from Grillby’s to hold his hand instead.

Grillby’s mind blanked on whatever he was going to say as he looked at the scenery. They were on top of a hill that dropped radically down to form a bowl below them. Wild green grass swayed in the wind sometimes exposing deep scars of dusty dirt out of place in the sea of green. Lining the bowl were pine trees but none dared to grace the downward slope of the hill as if the dark brown bottom terrified them. Maybe it did. There were a few lingering bits of the fort that had once stood there defiant of the changing world around it.

A shudder ran through Grillby and Gaster put his arm around him. ‘You don’t have to go down there,’ a set of bullets signed.

“I want to,” his voice didn’t though as it was less than a whisper. This was Ashfall. This was undoubtedly the worst day of his life. He took a step down the hill, his flames swayed indecisively as he took another step.

The remains of the fort had his attention as he walked down the slope. Try as he might he couldn’t seem to quite remember what the building had looked like from the outside having only seen it for a brief moment as the human soldiers drug him inside. The closer he got to the structure the colder the air felt, as if every ounce of heat had been stolen away.

Gaster hummed thoughtfully breaking the deafening silence in Grillby’s head. ‘Humans are superstitious about this place.’

That would explain why he never saw a road or path along the way. “What do they think happened?”

‘They don’t seem to have records of the battle at all but there several reports of folks running down this hill fine and coming up crying for no reason.’

Grillby looked at him with furrowed brows briefly before they approached the first wicked scar in the swaying blades of grass. It was nothing but exposed, dead, dirt yet its’ mere presence was unwelcoming. He pressed his hand to the scar and watched as his fingers shifted to a deep dark violet that spiraled up his arm. Gaster crouched beside him as he shut his eyes and Grillby was more than happy to lean against him. “It’s still there Gaster.” All the hate, the malice, the fear, the crippling nauseating fear, it was all still burned into this land and spinning its way back into him.

The generals had told him this battle would make him a hero, that this could turn the war in their favor, and he’d accepted. Grillby had readily taken to being packed with as many bonfires as the generals could light. Every inch of his body was so full with extra heat that he could feel his core shift in an attempt to make room. A bomb. They’d turned him into a living weapon, as if he wasn’t already.

They were holding Eternals at the fort that should be at the bottom of this hill. The humans collected their hearthstones to enchant weapons to assist in casting of spells. Grillby was going to save them-- he was supposed to save them. He allowed himself to get captured and drug to the fortress so he could raze it to the ground but… it was too much. 

Grillby was born a wildfire and wildfires burn without hesitation. 

Wild and wicked were the flames he released until they consumed even himself changing his form into something indescribable. His EXP spiraled higher and higher as any living being in the fort was snuffed including his sense of self. The way it felt… Grillby didn’t even want to begin to try and remember it. It was vile, disgusting, and made him desperately want to clean anything he’d ever touched.

‘A rampaging demon of flames’ is what Gerson had described him as, never one to hold back or baby a situation. It felt like it was accurate though. At the time all he really remembered was scouring the treeline content to burn the whole world to the ground but he woke up in the medical tent without an idea as to how he got there. 

The generals had deemed his murdering spree as a great success assuring him he would get used to the feeling the more he did it. They wanted to use him again in other fortresses and the idea was mortifying. That abomination he became wasn’t allowed to be normal. 

“How did I come back?” His hand was shaking as he refused to separate himself from the terrible emotions that bled forth from the wounds he had made in the earth. His magic had been so terrifyingly wicked that even centuries later it lingered strong enough for humans to feel it.

‘You’re a good monster Grillby, right down to the very center of your soul,’ he tapped Grillby’s chest, ‘you were just scared Starling and rightly so.’

“Did I just burn myself out then?” It was the one part of the story he couldn’t ever sort out. There was a chance that he’d just burned himself out, grown too large for his hearthstone to support, but he was learning more and more that the gaps in his memory were typically tied to a certain skeleton.

‘More or less,’ Gaster shrugged. ‘I had tried to talk to you but my voice isn’t exactly soothing,’ he chuckled. ‘Signing wasn’t really an option when you were so…’ he searched for a word, and he had to search for a while, ‘unlike yourself.’

That was certainly a way of putting it. All he remembered were the emotions boiling inside his magic. Stars, and Gaster had been so tiny to stare up at something like that and think ‘I need to talk to it’ was dangerous, stupid, and just like him. 

‘You were scared of everyone, terrified of yourself, even I was a threat,’ he worried his fingers for a moment. ‘But you wouldn’t hurt me. You’d never hurt me. And you were in there somewhere,’ he grimaced, ‘and it takes a lot for bones to burn…’

“You didn’t.” But of course he did.

‘I knew your core would have stayed more or less unchanged, and if I could show you I meant no harm--’

“That was stupid.”

‘But,’ he held a finger up, ‘it worked. I reached your core and…’ He furrowed his brow, ‘Honestly, it gets really fuzzy, I was pretty dehydrated by the time I reached you… But I know I held your hand and we woke up with Gerson taking care of us.’ His eyelight grew distant as that considerate gaze he’d worn throughout so much of the day slipped over him once more. ‘We were too young to have the connection we share now, but I knew I’d do anything for you far before that day. That was just my chance to prove it.’

His stomach squirmed as he finally removed his hand from the dirt and rose to his feet. They’d meant the world to each other as long as Gaster could remember… He just wished it was the same for him. Well, it was, technically, that day they met in his bar Grillby knew the monster trying so hard not to cry was someone important and now look at them. Their journey together had been an odd one but he wouldn’t change it for the world. He kissed Gaster’s cheekbone, “Does this make you my white knight?”

Gaster got a laugh out of that, ‘Of the two of us you’re the only one suited to play the white knight.’

“Then how about my fair prince?”

Gaster coughed very suddenly but Grillby had a feeling that was much more to hide his expression than actual need, ‘How about I just stay your Bun?’

“Even better,” he hugged Gaster tight, even with the history between them gone they were still here, still together. 

*

The hotel wasn’t anything remarkable, clean beige walls lined the spacious hallways, that lead to their room on the fifth floor. Grillby set their luggage on top of the plush bed and the comforter that sat on top tried to swallow the suitcases. There was a small desk for note taking, an office chair that had seen better days, but the reason Gaster chose this room was undoubtedly for the balcony. A nice wicker set surrounded a glass table that overlooked the amazing flower garden out back. 

Every color imaginable was on display in a series of swirling patterns interlacing with each other in a shape reminiscent of a celtic knot. It was strange the flowers were beautiful but something in his soul became restless at the sight of them. He tilted his head trying to decipher if the way the swirls laid out was similar to a Mage’s rune but that didn’t seem to be it. His hands gripped the cement rail as he leaned forward as far as he dared.

To his shock and delight a pair of boney hands combed down his side then looped around his waist. Gaster laid across his back checking out the view below as he rested his chin of Grillby’s shoulder. They stayed that way a long while feeling the sensation of the others breath against them, watching the flowers as if it was the most intricate ensemble number in a broadway show, they were so close Grillby could feel Gaster’s soul pulse magic through his narrow bones, and Grillby’s mind blanked on any thoughts but of how happy he was there in his Bun’s arms.

‘Lets go down and take a closer look,’ a pair of hand bullets signed as Gaster wormed his fingers between the buttons of Grillby’s shirt teasing gently at his abdomen.

“What about the dinner reservations?” He whispered.

‘We’ll get dressed first silly, we’ve got plenty of time,’ Gaster moved his hands under the shirt up to Grillby’s chest and Grillby didn’t even bother to hide the quiet purr the action inspired in him.

“Or we could stay here,” Grillby smirked.

‘After dinner Starling,’ Gaster unwound himself from Grillby who quickly kissed his teeth before heading back into the room. Gaster didn’t follow though, he stood with his fingers over his teeth, a slight smile as he stared into the distance with a considerate gaze.

“You coming?”

Gaster blinked himself back down to reality, ‘Yeah…’

“You okay?”

‘Just have a lot on my mind, it's been a strange day.’ Yeah, Grillby certainly understood that.

The most disappointing thing about dressing formally on a regular basis was the lack of ‘wow factor’ when dressing for a fancy restaurant. Though he did go out and get a new suit jacket for this. It was a strange off gray that almost looked silver in certain lightings, it caught his glow in a way most fabric didn't, locking it in place like a halo of orange around the collar. He paired it with black slacks, his usual glossy black shoes, white button down, and a soft pink tie. Sure, the tie was against his allegiance to bowties but it gave him an excuse he adored.

“Bun, I can’t get this tie tied right,” he tugged it uselessly off his shoulders as if he’d even tried in the first place.

Gaster chuckled knowing the game quite well his own pale violet button down hung unbuttoned over his exposed ribs. Grillby’s yellows softened at the exposed bone, it wasn’t that long ago even this would have been a struggle for the skeleton expose more than his skull and hands, now it was a fairly regular occurrence. ‘Alright but you need to watch this time,’ he smirked, stepping just a bit closer than he needed to.

Grillby didn’t even pretend to watch anything but the way those fingers got lost along the silky fabric only to remerge and pinch gently at it. Gaster smirked into his flecks then shook his head, ‘I swear you’re worse than an adolescent.’ 

Grillby pressed his chest against Gaster’s and ran his fingertips down his spine to cup the top of his hips, he pressed him as close as physically possible and locked his lips against Gaster’s teeth. “I love you,” he whispered before going in for seconds. 

Gaster chuckled, his laugh broke the contact as he pulled away, “I love you.” Grillby moved to close the distance but Gaster stuck his hands against his chest, ‘After dinner.’

“You said we had plenty of time,” Grillby pouted.

‘Yes but we need to--’ He looked to the carpeted floor, ‘I wanted to walk around a bit first.’

Grillby tilted his head as Gaster reached to start buttoning his shirt but Grillby started buttoning it from the top. “Whatever you wanna do Bun.”

After minimal further distractions that may or may not have been Grillby’s fault they shut the door to the hotel room behind them. Grillby hadn’t been the only one to change their look at least a little, Gaster had replaced his black outerwear with charcoal gray, a thin white tie, and a matching belt. White was a strange color on Gaster, it wasn’t that it didn’t suit him he just didn’t associate it with him. It did make his good eyelight seem brighter which in turn made him look a little younger. Right? That had to be the white accents, otherwise his mind was playing tricks on him.

They roamed the halls commenting on the framed pictures, Gaster taking more than a little interest in the construction blue prints they hung at dead ends. A large fountain bubbled peacefully in the lobby but it wasn’t particularly remarkable. Gaster held his hand and lead him around back then outside to the flower garden.

Now that the sun was just starting to set brightly colored lamps glowed along the outside of the garden casting a rainbow of colors across the already colorful flowers. Even this close Grillby had no idea what the flowers were but they were pretty. 

‘Do you recognize this place at all?’ Grillby raised a brow and pointed to what he guessed was their room to which Gaster laughed. ‘No, not like that, from a long time ago?’ When Grillby shook his head Gaster continued, ‘This was the sight of the last fight of your previous life.’

Grillby sparked and Gaster smirked. ‘The Prince’s Vanguard were on their way to assist a village of Eternals but they got there too late. The humans had already harvested all the hearthstones they could get their hands on and were long gone by the time we arrived. We looked across the damaged cottages, the broken trees, and the magical spiral patterns in the ground for any survivors but I was the only one that didn’t come back empty handed.’

‘I found you,’ he wrapped his fingers between Grillby’s and a pair of hand bullets appeared beside him, ‘and it was amazing how strong your soul was even without a form. Asgore rekindled you with his fire magic and in that first moment you put enough of yourself together to greet me before going back to sleep.’

‘Almost immediately I decided it was my job to protect you from the world I only knew to be dark and cold. I wanted you to get to be a child but… I didn’t do a very good job at it. I think you remember that much.’

“You were a child Gaster,” he squeezed his fingers, a very tiny child that thought war was their birthright, “I’m sure you tried your best.”

He smiled softly, his good eyelight bright and round, even his poor one made an appearance in his other socket. ‘I have something I want to do Grillby.’ Gaster took a breath and looked around as if to make sure no one else was around. Then he stepped away, his hands touched gently over his ribs, before the air began to chill with Gaster’s magic. 

Slowly his soul crawled out from his chest following the hands of its owner.

Grillby had to fight the reflex to push it right back into his chest, for most monsters exposing their soul was a regular practice but he couldn’t help the way it made his flames curl against his shoulders. Gaster held his hands out his eye lights locked shyly onto Grillby’s flecks until he realized he was supposed to take it.

The shape was something entirely different than any he’d seen before. It was more of a sphere and instead of a glistening white the poor soul was mostly gray with a few rough looking pieces of black, parts of it weren’t even attached floating about like orbiting planets. Occasionally there was a flicker of a vibrant red, or violet, but for the most part it was terrifyingly fragile looking. He took a breath, Gaster was fine, standing before him the same as any other day, Gaster was waiting. 

Shakier than he’d care to admit he reached out and gently cupped the soul in his hands. Gaster flinched and immediately Grillby let go, returning the little orb to Gaster’s hands. He moved his hands to cup Grillby’s leaving him with the soul once more, ‘Sorry, never had anyone do this before. Feels… different.’ He coaxed Grillby’s hands around it once more and the flames on his palms began to shift in color from violet to red to-- the same pattern of soul colors as the soul. 

He couldn’t imagine how it felt for Gaster but his own soul was quivering. At first he thought it was fear that he’d burn it, or hurt it somehow, but he was excited? He could feel Gaster just as plainly as if Gaster were hugging him, that slow cool current of his magic pushed his flames about and they swayed across him lazily. Grillby tightened his grip just a little bit and he felt-- exposed, shy? But that wasn’t him, he looked over to Gaster whose eyelights were pointed away, that was him. That was Gaster feeling those things. He was feeling what Gaster felt.

He started to bring it up closer to his face but he froze at his chest as his own soul gave a frantic pulse. The colors in Gaster’s soul began to shift into fiery shades as he held it so close to his own. ‘This is… really weird,’ Gaster laughed and his soul sang with nervous energy.

“It’s beautiful,” Grillby’s voice had a strange sound to it as he spoke and Gaster’s sockets widened in surprise.

‘Your Common has some soft WingDings behind it.’

“Wait, so I sound like you?”

‘Not quite it’s really soft like two voices at once? It’s easier to read than listen to.’

“So,” he looked down to the soul listening to his own voice jitter with strange but familiar mechanical noises, “can I understand you then?”

‘I… I don’t know.’ He rubbed his knuckles against his empty ribs, “I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

Somehow it sounded odder than the mechanical noises. The overlapping Fonts made a mess of an accent over his words, but Grillby could hear his voice, he could understand him, he laughed excitedly, his own soul flickering in his chest. “There is,” he smiled, “and you figured it out.”

Gaster touched his fingers to his teeth, “I love you,” his eyelight sat round in his socket, “I love you! I love you!” He leaned towards Grillby and wrapped his arms around him, his soul reflectively returned to his chest.

Grillby pulled him as close as he could, “I know Bun, I know you do.” He looked down to his hands still glowing with Gaster’s soul spectrum. That glowing orb of light that Gaster called a soul... he swore he’d seen it somewhere before, once a very long time ago. It had been brighter just a sheer white that shifted subtly with colors, it was so fascinating… Like a fire but colder. He’d wanted to know what it was so he reached out with tiny hands before-- 

Before Gaster woke up! He’d been sleeping in the tent. Grillby saw the glowing and crawled out of the lantern they were keeping him in since he was too small to march with the unit. He remembered! He remembered something! It was small but it was something! Just as his wide yellow smile threatened to split his face Gaster pulled away from him with that considerate look in his sockets.

‘I wanted you to know… That I trust you with every ounce of my being. I love you Grillby, every inch of me loves you. These last few months have been,’ he chuckled, ‘amazing. I never thought I’d find a partner let alone one who could love me so absolutely, ups and downs, ins and outs. I love you.’

“I love you,” he cupped the side of Gaster’s skull and burned a soothing warmth, “I’d do anything for you Bun.”

He clamped his teeth as a red violet stretched like the last breath of day across his cheekbones, ‘Funny you should say that. I--’ He pulled a silver pin from his inventory, it was cut in the shape of a star and had a small clear gem in the center, ‘I was hoping,’ he knelt down eyes locked on Grillby as a deep violet consumed his cheekbones, ‘you would be willing to marry me.’

Grillby’s flames pulled close to his core as every ounce of thought left him, “I--” He clasped his hands over his face trying desperately to cool down how hot he was growing. Grillby had been trying to work up the nerve to propose himself, expecting Gaster to be far too uncertain to make the first step but here he was. “Of course Bun. Of course,” he wrapped his hands around Gaster’s, “Bun I want to spend everyday with you. I want to spend everyday learning to love you more. Cooking you meals that you eat so meticulously but happily, seeing your expressions as you read through a new novel, and knowing that smile is just around the corner if I need it. I want to spend the rest of your years with you.”

‘What happened to not being good with words?’ Gaster’s sockets were lined with glossy tears as he teetered off of his knee.

“You did, I learned it from you.”

Gaster nipped his cheek softly, ‘And you taught me to show you how much I love you. I want to keep learning, I want to keep sharing, because when I’m with you I feel like anything is possible.’

“So yes Gaster, a hundred lifetimes over yes,” he crackled merrily.

Gaster took a shaky breath as he worked the clasp on the pin and attached it to his collar, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Once he was sure Gaster had secured the clip he drew him close and pressed a grateful loving magic with the promise of a lifetime of tenderness and care to Gaster’s teeth. Despite being colder he felt the same returned to him and he dug deeper until he could feel the source of Gaster’s magic. This was his Bun, his love, his lifelong friend, his companion, and a continent in his tiny world. He knew it with all of his being now all that remained was to tell it to the world.

“Oh,” he pulled away suddenly and Gaster actually looked disappointed. “Gaster you know how Toriel kept me in that lamp to keep me safe while we were traveling?”

Gaster raised his good brow confused why this was worth breaking the moment, ‘Yes.’

“There was one night I got out--”

‘There were many nights you got out,’ Gaster corrected, ‘you were a magnet to trouble when you were little.’

Grillby smirked as if he’d said something worth being proud of, “Alright, well one time in particular I got out in the middle of the night distracted by a glowing light in my friend’s chest. I went to investigate why your fire was so small…”

Gaster’s sockets fell into a focused glare as he stared utterly puzzled at his newly made fiance. Fiance… Grilbly flushed a hot yellow. He was-- no, that’s not what they were talking about, his flames flickered softly as a soft red glowed across him. 

‘It scared me… fire sprouting that close to your soul when you’re asleep isn’t a fun surprise.’

“You scolded me something fierce for it,” his yellow grin cut wide across his face.

‘But I couldn’t sign yet…’

“Oh I had no idea what you were saying,” Grillby laughed, “but you were wagging your finger at me--”

‘And you,’ there it was. The pieces snapped together and his steely expression was washed away like water off of a clay pot. ‘You grabbed it in your tiny little hand.’ His eyelight rounded as he looked into Grillby’s flecks, ‘And you, and you… You remember?’

“Just that,” he admitted wrapping his hands around Gaster’s shoulder, “but it’s something isn’t it?”

‘How?’ He signed as his bones began to rattle.

“I don’t know,” he guided Gaster to a nearby bench feeling his magic fizz out of control, “I just thought of that when I saw your soul.”

‘You remembered?’ He asked in a state of shock to which Grillby nodded. ‘You remembered.’ Gaster looked down at his hands, ‘I… I don’t-- If I--’ He laughed rubbing his face, ‘I don’t know… what to say… You… You remembered something.’

Gaster’s magic spiraled like a hurricane out from him in swift shifting emotions from joy to confusion as he tried to figure out exactly how this happened. Grillby rode out the waves feeling the monster jitter against him. “You wanted that didn’t you?”

‘Of course but… I didn’t think it would ever happen, and if you remembered something does that mean others can too? Could my boys-- Will you remember more?’ His chest heaved as his breathing quickened, ‘I existed,’ he smirked, ‘I was real… it all mattered. All of it.’

“It always did,” Grillby kissed his temple.

‘I know Starling,’ he wrapped both of his hands around Grillby’s, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” they rested their foreheads against each other sitting there for a long while working through wave after wave of magically charged emotions before he found Gaster’s arms wrapped over his shoulders and wrapped gently around his back. A smirk flirted dangerously against his flames before Gaster questioned it: “So, does this make me Grillby Gaster?”

Gaster pulled away quickly, ‘Stars no that sounds so weird.’

“Well I don’t really have a last name.”

‘What about Fire? That’s Fuku’s last name.’

Grillby crackled heartily, “WingDings Gaster Fire?”

‘Okay, so that sounds silly too, but you call me Gaster so you can’t be Gaster.’

“Why not? I think I’m certainly good looking enough for the role.”

Gaster clasped his hands over his face until Grillby peeled them back to kiss his forehead. “I’m just happy to be yours,” He leaned all of his weight against Gaster like an attention deprived dog which forced him to lay against the bench. So what if they were late for dinner? There would be more, so many, more. 

He had no doubt this was the monster he wanted to live forever with. Listening to his brilliant mind work in ways he could never understand, watching him grow in confidence, seeing his collection of books grow as the years went on, sharing memories new and old together, yes. This was the monster he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, he’d known that for a long time now, but now he knew Gaster felt the same. The back of the silver pin on his collar jabbed a familiar cold magic into his neck, the same kind as the teeth against his lips, it belonged to the monster he loved with all his soul: WingDings Gaster.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to leave this here. Call it good. Series well done and closed. But I can’t. I want to follow through and do what these series sought out to do and get these boys married. Next update will be either the weekend before October 14th or the weekend after it. Sadly their anniversary date is on a Wednesday. It might get multiple updates but that depends on life >.<
> 
> I hope you enjoyed ^^


End file.
